Sunday, September 30, 2012

letting go of best laid plans

It took me 8 weeks, but I finally figured it out: if I make list upon list of items I'm going to get done each day and Elden decides otherwise through hours-long fits of fussing it will stress me out. Stress me out infinitely more than just worrying about what's making my baby so unhappy. Make me angry and short with my husband because he's the easiest target to take my frustrations out on.

Blink and it's over: this Mickey outfit is already much too small.
Yesterday was the first day I decided not to stick religiously to my to do list. I decided to appreciate Elden during the time that I have with him and if I am able to get to some of the items I'd like to get done then great. If not, that's okay. And you know what? Yesterday was easily the least stressful day I had spent with him in probably his entire existence. Conveniently, he was also very well behaved and didn't have any long drag of being upset. But when I had just started doing laundry and I heard him stirring on the monitor an hour and a half too early, I didn't grumble about how the universe was out to get me. Instead, I finished what I could and then happily headed upstairs to comfort and cuddle him.

I know this isn't always going to be easy--if you know me at all you know I'm a compulsive planner and list maker--but it seriously makes my days less intense. I'm learning how to put less pressure on myself to have a perfectly clean home with a week of pre-made meals and time for a nap as well. When I am able to accomplish those tasks on weekends, awesome. When I'm not, that's okay. No one is judging me and Jon certainly requires very little of me when it comes to homemaking. If my husband and child could care less about whether the baseboards have been vacuumed, why should I place such an emphasis on it? Each day Elden is getting bigger and further away from being my little baby boy I brought home from the hospital. I want to soak in every second possible with him before they're all gone. I don't want to have regrets. Ten years from now I won't give two blinks about those darn baseboards that always seem to collect cobwebs, wool carpet fibers, and cat hair. But I will care about memories I made with my family.

1 comment:

  1. I so relate to this! I'm a huge planner and completely type A...and am of course having a difficult time feeling like I can no longer accomplish anything during the day. But to do lists can wait! Keep looking big picture and working hard to prioritize everything. Beautiful pics by the way!