Tuesday, October 22, 2013

how we had planned on announcing it.

I'm sorry if I've been a total downer this past week. I promise I won't write about miscarriage forever. It's just the most relevant topic in my life right now as it is constantly on my mind. I had some bloodwork done yesterday to recheck my hCG and it had gone down dramatically to 61. I go back in one week for what is hopefully the final draw that will yield a big fat zero so I can finally put this chapter behind me. It sucks having the constant reminder of weekly appointments. I look like I've been abusing drugs with all of the bruises and marks I have on my arms and hands.

I digress.

Jon and I had brainstormed ways we were going to tell family, friends and the social media universe once the reality of the pregnancy set in. The most common 2nd/3rd/etc. child announcements seem to be sending the wee one out with a "big brother"/"big sister" shirt, doing the family picture of husband holding child + wife = 4, or taking a picture of the elder sibling crying their crib with the eviction notice effective [due date] sign hanging nearby. I'm guessing any of you on Pinterest have images of the three prior ideas flowing through your minds right now. It's not that there's anything wrong with those ideas, but Jon and I are hipsters and therefore we go against the grain. It's in our nature. I eventually stumbled across a picture that served as inspiration for Nikki except the original was announcing the couple's first pregnancy. I instantly fell in love with it. Simple yet slightly mysterious. This is what Nikki was able to capture for us when we took our family pictures:
I apologize for my almost crotch shot thanks to my angry toddler+dress. 
I wanted to share these because Jon and I talked about it and we didn't want to use them for any other pregnancy. I still really like the sentiment behind them and had things worked out it would have been nice to show our son or daughter one day to share how loved he or she was from day one. I'm not sure whether or how we'll announce future pregnancies thanks to my newly discovered angst regarding such announcements. At the same time, I see the value in sharing such a sentiment with a child as he or she grows. Perhaps we'll save a cutesy announcement for just our immediate family and do a very simple proclamation elsewhere out of respect for those around us who are experiencing pregnancy loss or infertility. I just don't know. It will be a while before we have to think about that. In any case, there it is.

Thank you so much, Nikki, for capturing these moments. Thank you for also keeping these images from us in the immediate aftermath of discovering the loss. It was exactly what our hearts needed at that time and your foresight was incredible.

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