Thursday, December 12, 2013

i never thought i'd be in this far

It's a wonder what 4 days of being unplugged from social media can do to a weathered soul. I feel refreshed and burden-free and this turned out to be everything I never realized I needed so desperately. I'd say my growth from unplugging is around moderate but I'm still not to a place where I trust I'll experience nothing but peace and joy for others when I see the pregnancy posts.  It was to a point where I felt nothing but jealousy towards 90% of the people I knew who were expecting and yes I know how terrible that sounds. I hope to remain unplugged the rest of 2013 but am unsure how strong my resolve is.

In other news, I had my annual OB visit this week and he reassured me that odds are a subsequent pregnancy would be normal. It was good to hear but we all know I'm a pro worrier so when the time comes it will likely be a trying lesson in faith, especially the earliest weeks since I miscarried around 6.5 weeks. At any rate, I am grateful for the kind words and prayers as I continue to deal with my heart issues. I've been keeping up on my instagram with pictures so if you need a daily dose of cute Elden pictures feel free to check over there.

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand how you feel. Being days away from being 30 while being unwed, not a mother, and leaps and bounds away from the life 98% of my friends live, is very tough on me emotionally. It was the single biggest cause to my mental break-down a year ago. I think its normal to be jealous of things others have that you want more than anything on this Earth, but it's what you do with this jealousy that counts. I admire you for unplugging from social media and not pulling away socially and being mad at your friends (like I did) even though this was in no way their fault. Let's face it, Facebook is a bragging tool, and people have become too reliant on it to fish compliments and attention instead of the things that really matter in life. I want to unplug soooo bad too! And I think I will rather soon. You rock, you aren't an awful person for feeling the way you do.