Sunday, June 30, 2013

germany

On Tuesday morning, I left home around 8:30. I eventually caught a flight from Hopkins to Newark where I had a three hour layover. I hung out at the airport until my flight to Frankfurt left. It was a pretty uneventful flight--I took some melatonin and a Unisom around 6 pm EST and slept for probably half the flight. We landed in Frankfurt at 7:15 am local time. That airport? Bananas. Largest and most confusing airport I've ever been in, despite the fact that all the signs included English translations. It took me a while, but I found and proceeded through customs and then the train station. I hopped on a train to W├╝rzburg, which was about an hour ride. As soon as I got to the station I took a taxi to the site I was there to support. After a full day there I took a taxi back to my hotel for a couple hour nap. After my nap I showered and met up with someone from my meetings at a local restaurant.

My dinner? Incredible. Steak, salad, dinner roll with herb butter, and a bowl of potato soup. Following dinner I headed back to my hotel where I packed and went to sleep. I ran out very early the next morning to grab a pastry and orange juice from a local bakery, checked out, and took a taxi back to the training site. I was there from about 8 am to 4 pm local time, then took a taxi back to the train and the train back to Frankfurt. When I got into Frankfurt I was very fortunate because I was able to meet up with two of my cousins, Tilo and Karla. I checked into my Frankfurt hotel and then we walked around all sorts of stores in the vicinity of the airport. I had an incredible dinner of pizza (topped with onion, peppers, pepperoni, and artichoke hearts) until I headed back to my room to pack (again) and rest. 

The next morning, I headed to the airport with leftover pizza in hand for breakfast. Apparently this is a strictly American thing because about 9 different Germans (including the 4 young guys working in customs) made comments about it. I made quite the spectacle of myself, apparently. My flight to Newark left on time and I watched television shows and movies the whole flight back. I was supposed to have a three hour layover in Newark with my flight set to leave at 2:45. 2:45 came and went and our flight was pushed back to 3:30. Not long after, it was pushed back to 4:15. By 4, the plane we were supposed to take still hadn't disembarked all passengers so I knew there was no way we'd be out by quarter after. Once we finally boarded we had to sit on the runway for about 45 minutes as they made a new flight plan due to inclement weather out east. We didn't land until 7 (I was supposed to get in around 4) and I was a hot mess. After 24 hours of traveling and being disappointed because I had been so looking forward to seeing Elden that night (he was long asleep by the time I got home around 8:30) I was even more emotional than usual. I was so happy to pull into our driveway. Compounding that happiness was the fact that while my mom watched Elden on Friday (Jon had to work) she somehow found the time to make us chicken a la king, barbecue beef and chocolate chip cookies. Huge, huge blessing. I went in to kiss Elden goodnight which woke him up and he cried, so I was bummed about that. First thing the next morning, though, when Jon brought him into our room he kicked and flailed in a desperate attempt to escape and reach me as fast as he could. As soon as he was next to me he promptly rested his head on my shoulder for a good 30 seconds. Now that was what I had in mind for our reunion.

I was only able to see about .03 seconds of Germany so that was a little bit of a bummer but at least the trip went fast so I didn't dwell on being separated from my baby. It was amazing that I was able to see my cousins on SUCH short notice, especially in their country. I'm still a little tired so I don't feel like going through great lengths to organize the very few pictures I took on this trip:
Skype with my guys
old school hotel key
cousins!
After a couple nights of great sleep and a couple days with my two favorite gentlemen I am mostly settled back into life. I say 'mostly' because yesterday morning our dryer decided to break. Today we are much poorer because we ordered a brand new washer and dryer that are set to arrive in about 2 weeks. In the meantime I need to hope it stops raining every day so I can line dry and continue to do laundry.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

forty-seven

Elden's two biggest firsts this week were first night(s) away from me and first haircut. He did really well while I was traveling and we were able to Skype on average once per day. This morning was the first real time I saw him since Tuesday morning (I say 'real' because of Skype and the fact that when I went in to kiss him last night I accidentally woke him up and he cried) and when Jon brought him into our room and he saw me he began frantically kicking trying to get out of Jon's arms while simultaneously grinning largely. When Jon put him next to me he immediate cuddled his head onto my shoulder and my heart grew three sizes. Elden is currently in size 4 diapers but that's mostly because we ran out of 3's and had several packages of 4's. He is still cruising around via crawling but continues to enjoy walking if you provide him support. He now gives mouth kisses and makes a really adorable 'uh oh' face when you least expect it. I missed him so much while I was gone and based on his clinginess to me today I think he felt the same.

Friday, June 28, 2013

zuhause

After an incredibly long, exhausting week (and an even longer, more exhausting event to get home today) I am showered and tucked into my own bed.

I had so hoped to see Elden before he went to sleep and had my flight been on time I would have. However, life decided to deal me lemons so I didn't stroll in until 8--about 2 hours after bedtime began.

I broke our rules and woke him up (accidentally) with a hello/goodnight kiss. He cried. Not quite the reception I was hoping for. His tears were but a drop in a bucket compared to what I unloaded throughout my traveling ordeal today. I'm hoping for a much happier response in the morning.

I will share some details about the trip soon, but right now I'm creeping up on the 24-hour mark of being awake and I am ready to crash. Gute nacht!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

auf wiedersehen

Things will be pretty quiet around here for the next week or so.

I'm heading to Germany today. I found out on Friday--it's a last-minute business trip. I get into Frankfurt Wednesday morning at 7 am, hop on a train to Wurzburg, and basically need to head straight to meetings. Once those are over I have every intention of crashing very hard in my hotel room. First thing Thursday I have additional meetings until I hop on a train back to Frankfurt where I will spend the night (hopefully seeing my cousins, Tilo and Karla) and take a plane home first thing Friday morning.

If you could please be praying 1) for safety for all of us - nothing worse than a phone call saying your baby is sick when you're an ocean away, 2) that I don't get terribly lost, and 3) for our hearts as it is going to be hard on all of us to be apart. I sobbed as I put Elden down for his most recent nap because that was my 'goodbye.' I don't think I'll have a lot of time and/or energy to do much in Germany outside of my meetings, but if you happen to see me wandering aimlessly around (or know any must-eat-at restaurants or adorably affordable baby clothing shops in Wurzburg or Frankfurt) say hi and tell me what's up.

Until later... auf wiedersehen :)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

bow tie baby sprinkle

One of my besties, Heather, is having a little boy named Josiah in July. She is mama to Lillian, so I really wanted to throw her a small sprinkle to celebrate becoming a boy mom. I went with a bow tie/little man theme in an effort to get more use out of the decorations we were making and buying for Elden's first birthday in August. Yesterday was the big day and I was so happy with how everything turned out.
the invites
favors (filled with butter mints)
utensils - bows made by jon
the j was made by my talented big sissy

i added bow tie embellishments where ever possible. also. these sandwiches were heavenly.
again with the DIY bow ties
the grub - note the bow tie garland
cake boss, i am not
I had such a good time (and I think everyone else did, too ;)) and I was so glad to be able to do this for Heather. Huge thanks to my mom for watching Elden, my lovely guests for contributing food and drink, and my sister and Jon for helping with decorations. I'll be writing subsequent posts about some of the steps for the projects in the pictures above, so keep an eye out.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

forty-six

At 46 weeks, Elden experienced several firsts: his first dental visit, his first (top) molars cutting through, and his first time pulling himself from sitting to standing. Elden thinks climbing down the stairs (with our help, obviously) is hysterical. We're having a baby shower at our house today for a friend and when he came downstairs and saw the banners and decorations he grinned and grinned like this was all for him. I have officially stopped breastfeeding (I pump and we offer bottles) because he had taken to biting again and much harder than the first time around. He has been sleeping from about 6:30-6 every night and will take usually a morning and an afternoon nap. Food is still one of his all-time favorites and he also learned how to more gently pet Marsala so she comes around a lot more frequently now. I think she's starting to love him as much as we do! ;)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

first birthday inspiration

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Elden's first birthday party is going to be on his actual birthday this year. We lucked out that his big day fell on a Saturday. Given that I have limited time to get things done during the week, we began party planning a few months back. Our inspiration has several veins--navy and red, bow ties, and preppy. We've bought or made most of our supplies at this point and I'm getting excited as I picture what the bash will look like. Expect additional posts in the coming weeks focusing on some of our DIY details that we've already put together.

Monday, June 17, 2013

baby chair

We have a reclining chair with accompanying ottoman that we affectionately refer to as the man chair. This was one of 2 main purchases we made of brand new furniture when we started preparing our first home together because Jon insisted that all men need a recliner. Ironically, I probably sit in it more often. Either way, Elden is mesmerized by it and always trying to climb onto it. There's a little side table right next to it that has been taken over by his toys. Whenever I put Elden in the man (baby?) chair, he insists on having his toys from that side table put on the chair with him... all of his toys. I tried getting away with just letting him have one toy in the chair yesterday and this is the face he gave me:
So I gave in and provided the rest and suddenly his sour expression turned to one of joy:
Someone definitely inherited his dad's hoarding tendencies...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

papa

To my Baby Daddy on Father's Day:
You make our son so unbelievably happy. He thinks you are the raddest thing to have ever graced this planet. This makes my heart burst in the biggest way. I--we--are so, so lucky to call you ours. Happy First Father's Day.
Love,
Danielle

--

To all the dads and dads-at-heart out there (especially my own): wishing you a peaceful and love-filled Papa's Day.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

forty-five

At 45 weeks, Elden is officially a crawling maniac. He takes off like a lightning bolt and thinks it's hilarious if you crawl around on the floor with him. He also thinks high fives are hilarious. Elden now recognizes the term 'blow kisses,' as well as 'say hi!' and 'say bye!' This week he tried Brussels sprouts, and like everything else he's eaten, loved them. On that same subject, his appetite puts mine to shame and if you know me at all you understand just how impressive that is. I think we may be moving towards 1 long nap per day but I'm holding out as long as I possibly can on the 2nd and the endangered 3rd naps we can usually get. We have ordered most of his birthday party supplies and have begun menu planning and can't believe that in less than 2 months we will have a one-year-old.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

tubed

Due to the limitations of when Elden could consume certain foods and liquids prior to his procedure, I woke him at 4 this morning to nurse him. Jon got up at 5:30 to shower and we got Elden up at 6 to get ready to be out the door by 6:15. He was happy and played with toys the entire 50-minute drive to the hospital. Once there we got checked in and headed to pre-op. He was put in both the cutest and saddest little hospital gown. We also found out surgery would be pushed back from 8:30 to 10 so one of my sister's peers could do the anesthesia (she is finishing up a nurse anesthetist program this December). Luckily, Elden handled not eating or sleeping for several hours like a champ (overall). Surgery ended up happening around 9:20 and I got to walk him back to the OR and stay with him until he was asleep. I actually think this was harder on my sister than on me! I think I was just relieved at that point to finally [hopefully] have a long-term solution to all of these ear infections. Not even 15 minutes after he was asleep we were reunited in recovery where I was able to nurse him. The doctor told us there was a lot of thick, stringy fluid in his ears and that they were able to suck out about 95% of it before putting in the tubes. He was kind of like a drunken little man, flopping all around trying to crawl--he even got up on his hands and knees! He was quite cranky at first (expected) but even handled post-op like a champ. We handed out bags of homemade chocolate chip cookies and brownies to everyone who helped care for our little man as a thank you. We were in the car by about 10:30 and Elden slept pretty much the whole way home. As soon as we got into the house he woke up and is currently happily playing in his jump-up. When he first started hearing all the noises of our house (and especially his voice) his eyes got very wide.
Cutest little gown ever
Right before heading back - at this point exhaustion and hunger had taken over.
Just before waking up
Back home and playing less than 2 hours after surgery
Big thanks to my sister for sitting with us the majority of the time. Her presence was comforting. Also thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement as we prepared for and finished surgery! We are very grateful.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

humbled (again)


My emotions certainly got the better of me yesterday morning. Once Jon called me with the verdict from Elden's appointment, my mood improved. Elden still had no ear infection (just fluid) and despite his cough his lungs sounded good. He didn't require antibiotic shots nor a breathing treatment, which was a huge encouragement to me and a relief for Jon. They walked out with a prescription for a steroid for Elden's lungs and well-wishes for surgery on Wednesday. Have I ever told you how much I love our pediatrician? Because I do, like a lot.

--

In the past three days, we have been given 2 very sizable checks. Both were a total surprise. If you had asked us even a week ago if we knew this was coming we would have asked you what the deuce you were talking about. At a time when finances were really stressing us out, God demonstrated once again how generous He is. How apt He is to meet our needs. Since we are anticipating the out of pocket expense for the surgery to be on the order of $1000, to see that cost come back to us in an even greater number (copays have been absolutely brutal in this house so far in 2013) was just humbling. Why am I even surprised? This isn't the first time we've seen provision like this.

As we prepare to head to the Cleveland Clinic tomorrow, we covet your prayers for a totally uneventful day and procedure. We know both the risk and severity of complications are incredibly low, but they exist nonetheless. I will attempt to update tomorrow night. In the meantime, I will keep attempting to repress my glass-half-empty tendencies and trust that God holds us in His hand, always, no matter what.

Monday, June 10, 2013

worse

Last night was rough. At one point Jon looked at me, completely frustrated and exhausted, and asked me if it could get any worse. The truth is, yes, it always can given we have many luxuries most don't. That doesn't necessarily help in the moment, though.

Elden's surgery is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm not sure if I mentioned that we were able to get the surgery sooner than the end of June at a different hospital than the first ENT consultation and with a surgeon we liked much better, but we did. Around Friday night (?) Elden started with a cough. As an asthmatic, I recognized it right away as more of an asthmatic cough so we started giving him his inhaler every few hours. The effectiveness was debatable, so we opted to try to get in first thing this morning to see his doc. The papers the doctor gave us to prepare for his surgery indicated that if your child has illness (cough, fever, etc.) you will likely have to reschedule. Given what a nightmare scheduling has been for this procedure we are doing everything we can to avoid that.

We've just kind of thrown our hands up at this point. He's on an antibiotic for the ear infection but I'm not sure it's even working. That being said, he shouldn't have any sort of bacterial infection since he's on one. This would point to there being a viral infection, except his only symptom is the cough. It's just so discouraging because it's really hard to step outside of our situation and recognize that overall we have been blessed with a healthy kiddo. We also feel totally isolated and misunderstood at times. Whenever we tell someone we have a tough/challenging kid (particularly with the colic, inflexibility, repeat illness, etc.) we're usually looking to vent, for someone to sympathize with us. It's hard to find that sort of understanding since none of our friends dealt with the colic and all but one have kids who haven't really had any major health problems. We usually get the "yeah, kids are just tough" brush-off which makes me want to take someone by the shoulders and violently shake until they understand that while most kids usually are tough, ours has been unusually tougher. This parenting thing? It's no joke. This ish is hard.

---

We managed to get Elden in for an 8am. We're hoping to get some answers and I anticipate a breathing treatment and potentially antibiotic injections for Elden. We would greatly appreciate your prayers in the next 72 hours as we are anxious about this surgery, about what's wrong with Elden now, and we're also so ridiculously tired.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

sun porch 2.0

After receiving some items from Jon's parents and hitting up a garage sale yesterday, our sun porch is really starting to come together. While Jon was at work I did some rearranging and moved a whole bunch of stuff to the basement (related: our basement needs a whole lotta organizing love now!). There's only 1 thing that needs to go down there and it is definitely a 2, if not 3-man job. I'm hoping to get that downstairs sometime this week since we are having family over for Father's Day brunch and I'd like for the porch to be in better shape.
Table came from garage sale, lounger from Jon's parents
The cabinets are the remaining piece that need to go downstairs
Have to add the bungee back to the left chair and fix my shotty bungee job on the right one
It's hard to tell but I also finally added the weather strip to the bottom of the door
The obvious major things we need to do out here are replace the flooring and paint. Here's my ideal list of all things we'll get done eventually:
-replace floors with hardwood or some other hard floor
-paint walls & ceiling
-hang curtains
-paint main table a bright color
-spray paint the table & 2 chairs we got from the yard sale
-reupholster the cushions for the 2 chairs we got from the yard sale
-scrape and repaint the interior door and windows
-build a pallet coffee table (this has changed now that we got the loveseat-type chairs)

The floors are the highest on my priority list because there's no way in heck I'm letting Elden crawl around on the nasty carpet that exists out there now. Hoping to get that done ASAP!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

forty-four

At 44 weeks and mobile, Elden is a force to be reckoned with. He is everywhere and into everything. Now that he's realized there are mechanisms of transport other than rolling, he's also taken an interest in walking. He will pull himself up on our ottoman--which is somewhat comical since it rocks--and push it around the room while supporting himself on it. He will have his first (and hopefully last) ever surgery this Wednesday to get his tubes. Elden has started to pick up some sign language (specifically 'done') which is miraculous since Jon and I are incredibly inconsistent with using signs. He has also gotten much better about taking his inhaler--he hasn't screamed the past several treatments! And, just like his mom, food is the way to his heart. We can't believe how close to 1 he is...

Friday, June 7, 2013

anniversary recap

Last year we didn't do a single thing for our anniversary. Between buying the house and unpacking to being pretty pregnant, we agreed we had too much on our plates. Eventually Elden came and stuff got hard. Really hard. This year of marriage didn't treat us well. That's why I decided this year would reach go big or go home status. Overcoming big struggle deserves big recognition and reward, amiright?

Jon and I agreed to spend no more than $40 on each other, to be divided up however we saw fit between our anniversary and Mother's/Father's Day. Since it was the leather anniversary, I had originally bought him a leather shoulder strap for his messenger bag/briefcase type thing he takes to school. However, when it showed up it didn't match so I sent it back. Then I stumbled upon this. Jon has been itching for shorts in this color for probably 2 years. They were also having a sale that brought the price down to $29.99. Done!

Naturally, I couldn't wait until our anniversary and gave them to him the day they arrived. (he's worn them every day he's worn shorts since)

I also hadn't told him that I had arranged for our sweet friends, Maeghan and Jon, to watch Elden so that we could go to dinner at Crave in Akron on our actual anniversary... until I did. What can I say!? Excitement gets the best of me. Crave? Totally incredible.
baked goat cheese, puttanesca, and garlic ciabatta = AMAZING
I got the cornflake chicken sandwich with manchego, caramelized onions, & BBQ sauce on smoked paprika aioli sourdough, Jon got the steak wrap with chihuahua cheese and chimichurri aioli (not pictured)
I did manage to keep one surprise from him, though. I had arranged for the talented baker-son of one of my coworkers to bake a cake in our original wedding cake flavors (chocolate cake with almond buttercream). I arranged with the head chef/owner to bring it by before our reservations and they surprised Jon with it after we ate!
Forgot to take a pic before we began digging in...
The valet almost thwarted my efforts when we pulled up and he said, "hey weren't you just here a little bit ago!?" to which I frantically shook my head 'no' with eyes as wide as saucers (Jon was looking at him not me). Thankfully Jon knows I'm not shady and didn't pursue that any further during dinner, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face! We loved the ambiance of the restaurant, the staff was incredibly friendly and attentive, and the menu was creative and delicious. Elden didn't scare away our friends and had a great time with his buddy, Cole:
stolen from Jon
Ginormous thank you our dear friends for braving a few hours in the usually-fussy evening with our guy so we could get out and reconnect! Oh! Also! Guess who is officially crawling:

Thursday, June 6, 2013

things that went wrong

In honor of our anniversary, I thought I'd share some of the [tons of] ridiculous things that went wrong immediately leading up to/on our wedding day.

[1] The two weeks leading up to our wedding I had a horrendous upper respiratory infection that, in turn, exacerbated my asthma in the worst ways. I had to use a nebulizer multiple times each day and night to get through it. The icing on the cake was when I found out I had strep TWO DAYS before we were slated to get married. Still recovering on the wedding day itself, I was exhausted by 8 pm and ready to leave the reception to rest.

[2] The night of our rehearsal we had to stop at the reception venue first to drop off a ton of stuff. We had our entire wedding on a budget of approximately $5,000, so our venue was a community center and we were able to buy all of the beverages, make the centerpieces, etc. to save money. After unloading everything there, my dad's van wouldn't start. We weren't sure if he would make it to the actual rehearsal, but luckily, he did!

[3] On the subject of cars that wouldn't start, the day of the wedding Jon's aunt (who is an incredibly talented hair stylist) did my hair at my parent's house. She was the last to leave for the church... and her car wouldn't start either! She didn't have any of our cell numbers to turn back, so her daughter had to come from their hotel about 20 minutes away to get her!

[4] One of my biggest fears was the sound not working at the church. This happened to two of our besties at their wedding and I lived in fear of it. The wedding party walked down the aisle to 'Such Great Heights,' I walked down to 'You Have My Attention,' and we left the church to 'When We First Met.' If you know me at all, you know how hugely important music has been in my life and the thought of our wedding not playing out to the soundtrack I had in my mind for ages was devastating. Naturally, the day of, the sound system wasn't working. Luckily, my friends and family knew I would have gone loco if I had found this out so they kept me blissfully ignorant while they arranged for our friend, Cameron, to hold a microphone to a boombox speaker with our CD playing. Bless all ya'll!

[5] We wanted our wedding to be as early in June as possible to avoid the heat because the church we got married in didn't have air conditioning. Naturally, it was hella humid and hotter than the face of the sun that day. Our guests were champs and dealt with the discomfort gracefully.

[6] The unity candle! *shakes fist* The dag unity candle wouldn't light for us. However, since we are totes on the same page, we locked eyes and put each of our candles right next to each other in front of the unity candle. #candlepwnage

[7] It started raining the second we got into our topless getaway car. We ended up just doing a lap around the block and headed back into the church.

[8] Wedding cake debacle v1.0. Jon's middle name is Paul and usually when he meets someone new he will introduce himself as Jon Paul. In a further effort to save money on our wedding, we did a very small tiered cake and asked for a sheet cake to use to feed most guests. This is how the baker decorated our sheet cake:
Ladies and gents, meet our best man, Paul. Don't worry, Jon took care of biznass.
We never planned on guests seeing this cake anyway, so it wasn't a huge deal and made for a great photo opp!

[9] Wedding cake debacle v2.0. Meet cake topper Jon & Danielle:
We had arrived to the reception hall early so we were there when the baker came to drop off our cake. At one point she meanders over to us with an uneasy expression and holds out her hand. What was in her hand, you wonder? Cake topper Danielle's head. "Um, I accidentally broke this" and walks away. Thank God my mom is crafty and hadn't yet arrived from home--she brought super glue with her and put my head back on when she got there. LITERALLY!

[10] During the reception, the police showed up. Turns out, someone had smashed windows and grabbed the GPS out of the cars of our wedding photographer and one of our sweetest and kindest friends, Tessa, in the parking lot. Someone noticed and called the police who had to come into our reception to find the car owners. We felt terrible, but both victims didn't let the unfortunate event affect them!

[11] The caterer ran out of food. It's seriously a blessing that I didn't know this until a few weeks after our reception, otherwise this is the one thing that went wrong that day that would have pushed me over the edge. Three years later and I'm still salty about it.

For us, it didn't matter that all this stuff went wrong throughout the day--we actually look back on these things with fondness. We were finally married and that was enough to keep us smiling through it. That being said, if I could go back and change anything about that day, the only thing I would have done differently was spend more money for a better caterer. That, and quarantine myself the entire month before our wedding.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

the leather anniversary


My sweet, incredible, life partner,

This year has been a tough one. I'm not sure which was harder--our first year of marriage or this one. They were both difficult in their unique ways, but this year almost broke us. You kept us rooted, together. You encouraged and loved me in ways that, at times, I made sure you needed to dig deep inside in order to do. When my days were dark and I wasn't sure which way was up you were there, always.

This was the year we became parents. It has been the most magical and challenging adventure we've ever faced. I can think of no other person I would rather take this journey with. You are everything I dreamed of (and so much more) in a dad for our son and one of the greatest joys I have is seeing him smile when you walk in the room. You have so many things to teach him and I look forward to watching you two nurture your relationship and become best buddies as he grows.

I know we will face countless other trials as we continue our lives together. I know that I can depend on you to always fight for us. I know that you love me always, without faltering, even though I tend to try and make myself unloveable to you. Our life is imperfect, sloppy and rough around the edges, but it is ours, and I wouldn't trade it for all the chocolate peanut butter ice cream in the world.

Here's to a thousand more, every messy second.

Danielle




Tuesday, June 4, 2013

wisdom in the wait

Jon and I have been grappling over the tube decision for a few weeks now.

I come from the perspective of a scientist--the studies, the overwhelming consensus from medical professionals, etc. Jon has the perspective of a theologian--faith in the unknown, going against the grain of what is widely accepted as true. For me the answer is obvious: get the tubes. For Jon, it's not so cut-and-dry. He wants tubes to be our absolute last resort. He found some studies that showed children who waited after the initial recommendation for tubes longer than those who got them right away had no different outcomes six years post-op. Furthermore, he is considering the risks (no matter how small) that Elden could react poorly to the anesthesia and/or suffer from potential hearing loss long-term as a result of the surgery. We've reached an impasse multiple times and have had to stop our discussions to walk away and cool off.

The thing is, I'm making peace with the idea that there is wisdom in the wait. Jon has proven this to me time and time again. For example, when we were house hunting, there was a much smaller house that was about five-thousand more than what we paid for ours. I wanted to jump at the opportunity convinced nothing else would come along in time, but Jon encouraged me to be patient just a few more days. And then? We found the one we bought--much larger, less expensive, and in a nicer neighborhood. Then there's the whole baby situation. If I had my way, we would have been pregnant within the first few months of getting married. Jon insisted we wait because "babies are hard!" and I don't even want to picture what our lives would look like now if we had taken the path I desired at the time. There are numerous more examples like that in our relationship over the last six years.

It's not at all easy for me to be patient (shocker!), especially with things like this. I am a fixer by nature and my instinct is to do everything I can to solve a problem. After feeling so ridiculously helpless dealing with Elden's colic for the first half of his life, when I was presented with tubes as a possible solution to these ear infections I wanted to sign the dotted line like, yesterday. However, in the teeny off chance that a gluten sensitivity is causing all of this, I don't want to subject Elden to anesthesia unless absolutely necessary. The ENT told us he didn't see harm in giving gluten-free a try and postponing surgery (they initially had openings the week after we had his appointment, we booked it for a month after) unless another ear infection arose. In our instant gratification society, it's hard to go against the norm. It's hard to wait. It's even harder to wait gracefully. I'm trying to take a step back from my inherent desire to magically fix everything and be patient with this gluten-free diet. We had originally agreed upon waiting until he got 1 more infection to do the tubes and I had begun to renege on that agreement. We both have Elden's best interest at heart, we just come from different perspectives. There is no harm in waiting for confirmation of a decision either way.

---
After a re-check today, the fluid that was in Elden's ears from his Friday check-up had begun to thicken and was on the brink of becoming infected again. His pediatrician wanted to do the cefdinir injection but Jon asked if we moved his surgery up to next week if we could just do an oral course. He agreed so now we have a 10-day prescription and a call into the surgery scheduler to see if we can get him in early next week. We both have peace with this decision, and even though the wisdom in the wait didn't turn out the way we hoped, I have a bigger appreciation for my husband and how he stands up for what he believes in--within reason--and advocates for our son even when met with scowls.