Tuesday, June 24, 2014

on co(not)sleeping

I've never been a big fan of bedsharing. I'm definitely in one of those to each his own camps on this particular topic, but it just wasn't something I wanted to get in the habit of. Even though Elden was in his bassinet next to our bed those first 2.5 weeks, multiple nights I woke up panic-stricken, convinced my newborn was floating somewhere in the sheets. I can only imagine how much more panicked I would have been if we had been practicing bedsharing. Really, we just didn't want to get in the habit for a variety of reasons. There were definitely times that we did so out of desperation, but I can count the number of those times on one hand.

Then 22 months old happened and someone have developed the ability to dream up scary dreams and has a very sudden & very, very real fear of thunderstorms. In the past 2 weeks we've resorted to bed sharing three times. The first was a storm, the second was nightmares, and the third was yet another storm. It's a trade-off, really. On one hand, it makes me feel like we're doing something right in our parenting that our son clings to us when he's frightened and finds comfort in our laps. On the other hand, none of us really sleep on nights that we share a bed. At all. Elden gets all excited and chattery. He lays still with eyes wide during the peak of the storm, but as soon as the thunder is a distant rumble he's all, "hi mama! pillow! dada! blanket! kitty cat!" The most recent night he was playing with my hair which quickly turned to pulling on my hair. Hard. After about an hour or two we usually all pass out... but then the flailing begins. Sweet baby Jesus have mercy, the flailing. I'm not sure which of us Elden inherited that lovely trait from, but homie is a mover and a shaker in his sleep. We're talking limbs across my face, kicking feet, and all up in your grill flailing. I'm usually the first to wake from the sleepless slumber (except for the last time, where Elden gingerly popped up with daybreak and yelled, "EAT!!!!") and in my groggy state I glance over at the two most important people in the world to me, sleeping in the exact same stature with the exception being one on his belly (Da) and one on his back (Elden) and I feel mostly okay about the night's events. I also feel like I want a very large cup of coffee.

Suffice to say, we will continue to avoid bedsharing at all costs necessary and I think you bedsharers are a hint of crazy for enduring such shenanigans erry night. But at the same time, I will treasure these memories (I can say that now that I've actually had a decent night's sleep) and the fact that my littlest guy is a spitting image of his dad when he sleeps.

But seriously.. you bedsharers are cray.

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