Elden: Is it weird?
Jon: ...and blueberries.
Elden (from his car seat, yelling excitedly): AND A WHISTLE!
Jon, after realizing Elden had been awake for some time following his nap but had yet to make a noise, likely due to us telling him before his nap that 'you don't have to sleep yet, but you do need to be quiet': Buddy, were you awake for a while?
Elden (whispering): Elden was really really quiet.
Elden (carrying a metal lunchbox into the kitchen): Bye! I'm going to my boring work!
Elden (to anyone and everyone he talks to on the phone, despite our continual reminders that people can't see through the phone): Do you see this [insert random object or body part here]?
Elden (every time he talks to me on the phone while I'm at work, ever since I mentioned I was taking inventory of the shoulders--yes, cadavers--in the freezer during a brief phone call earlier this week): Mommy looking at my shoulder?
Danielle (on the phone with Elden): Is Edith being good?
Elden: No! Edith keeps cryin!
Jon (in the background): No she doesn't!
Elden: Edith keeps saying WAAAHHH WAHHHHH.
Jon (in the background): No she doesn't, Elden!
Elden (many times during the course of the day when he knows he's not being a good listener or doing something defiantly): Mommy/Daddy, you happy?
Mommy/Daddy: Not really, you're aren't doing what we tell you.
Elden (smiling): Be happy, you're my friend!
Elden (to me, on the phone): Elden got a haircut!
Jon (in the background): Elden, that was supposed to be a surprise for Mommy!